Requested by Anon.

(727) One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving the bar

(710) my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking

(780) The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I’ve seen it. I’ve caused it. I called him a unicorn. 

(843) I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard. 

(513) He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog. 

(951) Aaaaaaand, there’s the title of my second book. “One Dick. Six Angles.”

(613) Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them

(206) Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me

(218) We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes “nice.” and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.

(707) Hahah. They reconnected again?

(1-707) Like with his penis I guess